Safe to say a lot has changed since March of this year. The world is entirely different, our lives are entirely different and thinking of the future is entirely different. As I write this, I cannot tell you what the future holds immediately or a few years from now. Just trying to process what is happening currently feels different. Like most of the population around the world, I have gone through many personal whirlwinds since the start of the pandemic. With only two months left of the year, and many of us, myself included, are hoping next year brings better days. The reality is that we’re probably not going to ever resume the lives we once had, even in another two years. A tough pill to swallow, but we’ve tolerated navigating this dark climate well for eight months already, and without light in immediate sight.
There’s so much that has happened so far, so to make it up for lost time, I provide a brief summary of the positive and negative changes in my life up to this point. My hope is that those of you reading will not only be able to relate, but also to seek comfort in knowing you were never alone in how you felt during the highs and the lows of this period so far.
Increased in gratitude and awareness of not only my well-being, but those close to me.
Stronger understanding of my self-worth, and how it applies to everything from my career, home, relationships and community.
Prioritizing connection with friends and family
Removing myself from anything that doesn’t give me joy, from tangible things, situations, environments to toxic people
Not taking the smallest things for granted
Soaking in every moment of happiness and calmness
Being more present than I have been before.
Prioritizing self-care and mental health
Reading more about the world around me
Connect more into my community
Grown closer to Jesus
Daily struggle with anxiety and depression
Panic attacks happening when things are not calm
Second guessing myself
Feeling restless late into the night, resulting in staying up later and having hard time getting up in the morning.
Constantly thinking about the worse case scenario
Weight gain and loss of motivation to tackle the extra weight
Get defeated almost too easily
Battle of numbness and indifference
Clearly the positives did outweigh the negatives, on my list of changes. Yet the negatives are valuable on their individual worth as well combined with the positives. This has allowed me to start asking my self what I want for my life going forward? What if I didn’t get the chance to put literally everything on pause and figure out who the hell I am?
I am coming out of this pandemic much stronger, better version of myself. Nothing in life comes easy, and this is no exception to that rule. The end result will be worth it and everything leading up to it. I understand the struggle is very real to most of us these days, and I have been finding better ways to manage my anxiety, even if it is getting lost in a book for a few hours. It is important to make a conscious effort to not put yourself down when you’re already on your knees crawling through. We are all in this together. You are never alone.