What more can I say about this year? I like so many others went into this year with so much expectation and finally thinking this would be the year everything would finally fall into place. The raring twenties we all were celebrating on December 31st 2019, must have sent a vibration into the new year, because 2020 has been a raring year, and not in the most celebratory way! It was the year I decided to have a word, a word more as a motto, but I never thought it would describe this year as it did.

I went into this year with the word transformation thinking it would be more superficial then deep. I was wrong. Really wrong about what the meaning really is of transformation. This year became a year of transformation like nothing I have ever experienced. In 2019 I was in a space of self-doubt, low self esteem, and cared about what others thought of me. I felt I had to be a part of the rat race of always making more money, being more successful, and always knowing I am one step away from loosing myself. I wanted a change, to transform my life into something I wanted.

After going over 2020, the transformation I was thinking about became much more than I had thought it would be. In 2020 I went through some painful, humbling, deep digging, and watching parts of myself die. I did not get the superfial version of transformation, I got the deep version. The one that changes everything in your life, and who you are. You can even say I had another paradigm shift. While the world as a collective was battling the COVID virus, I too was battling and healing from a virus which had come to infect me since the beginning of 2019. I no longer wanted to stay in toxic environments where it is constant uphill battle of comparison and always wondering if I am good enough. I no longer wanted to feel out of control of my life anymore. I wanted to sail my own ship for once. And I left port for open waters by the end of 2020.

The major event that shaped this past year is the COVID-19 pandemic. How one microbe could being the world to a collective halt for a whole year. For most of the year I sat out of the scientific world as I was unemployed looking for any position I could find. Eight months later I would find one which I never would have expected to be in. Here to it lasting for years to come. But I did not sit at home watching all the Netflix, I volunteered within my community for relief from the pandemic. Something very close to my heart with Convoy of Hope.

I watched the devastation of wildfires from California all the way to Washington tore through already struggling communities hit hard by the pandemic. Woke up to the news of two towns in Washington and Oregon reduced to chard remains. One being where family reside, the other a vital part of the agricultural community of Washington State.

But not all of 2020 was anno horriblis. I had two friends get engaged, a family member get married over Zoom, and another privately with just family in attendance. I paid off two of my student loans in full, and now well on my way of not having that hanging over my head. I read a ton, learned a lot, and found myself lost in the little quiet moments of each day. I found a wonderful team of people at work, and began the heal process.

Even in the darkest nights there is hope in the new dawn.

Queen Elizabeth II of England 2020 Christmas Address

As we step into the light of a new dawn of 2021 from the darkest night of 2020, transformation happened in a multitude of ways over the past year. I am glade I decided to make it my word of the year, I am thankful for all the lessons it brought me. I would not change it.

Yearly Stats At A Glance